Hospitality Across Generations

Office
Aug 7
4 min read

What does it mean to practice hospitality across generations?

When we talk about church growth or renewal, we often focus on programming, social media, or changing worship styles. But underneath all of that is a deeper truth: younger people, especially those under 40, aren’t looking for a slicker production. They are looking to be seen. To be known. To be treated like they matter now—not when they’re older or have kids or “settle down.”

I’ve been reflecting on how generational hospitality is its own kind of spiritual practice.

Just as churches have long welcomed immigrants, newcomers, and strangers, we are now invited to welcome digital natives, climate activists, exhausted young parents, deconstructing believers, neurodiverse creatives, and all the beautiful, sacred complexities of those coming of age in a post-pandemic, post-institutional, post-trust era.

Hospitality for older generations may have looked like potlucks, ushers with nametags, and committee invitations. For those of a certain age, I bet you remember the Couples Clubs, Men’s Groups, and Women’s Fellowship circles—gatherings shaped in a time when single-income households were the norm. Young parents connected in the co-op daycare. Youth groups thrived because Sundays were reserved for rest, not work.

And hospitality was… unplugged.

Phones were phones.

TVs were TVs.

Movies were a trip to the theatre.

Meals were a time to catch up, hear the day’s stories, and build deeper relationships.

But the world has changed—and with it, the way people form community.

Today, over 40% of Millennials and Gen Z identify as “nones”—those with no religious affiliation. And yet, that doesn’t mean they aren’t spiritually curious or yearning for belonging. It means they haven’t found faith communities that feel authentic, relational, or safe.

For younger generations, hospitality might look like:

An online invitation to co-create something that matters
Neutral space where unfiltered conversation about doubt, justice, and grief can happen
A context that honors their pace, questions, and cultural reference points (even if you’ve never heard of Stranger Things or Lizzo)

Recent research* has shown that younger people stay in faith communities where they feel noticed, named, and known—where someone sees them, remembers them, and engages them as whole people, not just as future volunteers or statistical “growth.”

The Impact of COVID

The pandemic disrupted more than our worship gatherings. It changed our capacity to connect in real life (IRL). For many under 40, the muscle memory of showing up—without anxiety, without digital filters—is weaker than ever. We can’t assume people know how to walk into a room and strike up a conversation.

I’ve had a number of conversations lately with people in this age group who affirm how difficult this shift back to human relatedness is.

Add to that: some may never have had a “normal” church experience at all. A generation of young adults came of age during COVID with only online worship—or no worship at all. If we don’t consider that, we risk misreading disengagement as apathy, when it might just be unfamiliarity.

And here in Salem, where the largest group of newcomers is young single adults, we are being given a unique opportunity to extend a radical welcome—one shaped by curiosity, not assumption.

So how do we build a bridge? How do we become a multi-generational spiritual community where mutual curiosity replaces assumption, and relational hospitality becomes the norm?

Here are three things we might experiment with to lean into our curiosity:

One-on-Ones Across Generations

What if we paired people up for conversations across age lines just to listen and learn? I wonder what we would hear if we asked:

What brought you here?
What do you care about?
What’s hard about faith right now?

Cultural Curiosity Cards

What if we created some conversation starter cards for the fellowship tables? We could ask:

What was your favorite TV show growing up?
What was your class song from high school?
What’s a slang term you remember using?
What’s a historical moment that shaped your generation?

A simple tool—but one that invites connection and storytelling.

Intergenerational Immersion Experiences

What if we treated generational differences like cultural differences? In the same way we prepare to engage across race, class, sexuality, gender, or nationality, we can practice cultural humility with younger (and older) generations.

We might ask:

What assumptions do I carry about people older or younger than me?
What would I want someone to be curious about in my life experience?
What would I like to understand better about someone else’s?

The 18-39ers Club

In my late 20s and early 30s, I was part of something called the 18-39ers Club—a small group of young adults organized by the UCC and ABC churches where I was living in Connecticut. It was nothing fancy. Just intentional space to gather, share life, and grow in faith. I met my best friend there. We raised our kids together. We belonged.

What if we could offer that kind of space now?

What if the Trans IRL gatherings we’ve begun to host became part of a broader rhythm for young adults—Neurodiverse IRL, Game Night IRL, Meal Prep IRL, or something we haven’t even imagined yet?

What if our own 18-39ers+ helped us deepen our culture of hospitality—not just for inclusion’s sake, but because our own future depends on becoming a church where everyone’s humanity is centered?

What if FCCUCC became known as the church that makes room for you to become who you really are—no matter your age, identity, or experience?

Hospitality isn’t just about welcoming people into the building. It’s about making room for each other’s stories, wounds, humor, playlists, and dreams.

Let’s keep learning to welcome one another—generationally and generously.

With gratitude and curiosity,

Pastor Robin

*Research on younger generations' spiritual engagement highlights the importance of authenticity, agency, and relational belonging. See:

Springtide Research Institute, The State of Religion & Young People (2020–2023), especially findings on the importance of being “noticed, named, and known.”
Barna Group, The Connected Generation (2019), which explores global Millennial and Gen Z engagement with faith and meaning-making.
Fuller Youth Institute, Growing Young (2016) and Faith Beyond Youth Group (2023), emphasizing relational warmth, cultural responsiveness, and shared leadership.
Pew Research Center, Religious Landscape Studies (2015–2021), documenting the rise of the religiously unaffiliated (“nones”) and their openness to spiritual exploration.
Harvard Divinity School, How We Gather (2015), a study of how Millennials are building meaning, purpose, and community outside traditional religious institutions.